Thursday, September 18, 2008

I have a dream.

The difference between me and MLK is that my dreams are always weird. Like, for example, my dream last night. I dreamed I was about 10 and I was living next door to my best friend and we were both having problems with groundhogs. And then I spotted one...and it was an R.O.U.S. G thinks I might be a little obsessed.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Gardening for Dummies

As you may or may not know, G & I rent Smurfhaus (nee Chez Partial Ocean View). And the landlord does not participate in the care and maintenance of the front and back yards. The problem is--neither do we. We pay someone to come in and mow the lawns and at some point after he moved in, G's mom (MIL) had a part of the flower beds cleared and she planted tomatoes, rosemary, mint, and a wide variety of other things I can't remember. But, since MIL lived down in southern California, the tending was left to the Northerners and this did not go well.

Groundhogs invaded the back yard and, despite a valiant effort, G was unable to hold them off. The backyard went feral and since the only one who spends any time back there is Chloe (the cat), we were pretty okay with the situation. Meanwhile, in the front yard, the grass was mostly weeds, but if I watered them they were at least green and that was good enough for me.

Until the g*dd@mned groundhogs found the front yard. Oh, I don't *think* so. It. Is On! You should understand just how p*ssed off I was that I resorted to...gardening. Let me say this again--gardening. Gardening involves the two things I hate the most: Being outside and getting dirty. Ugh!

Nevertheless, I wandered down to the OSH for some DieGopherDie and picked up a couple of hydrangeas and a small planter of mums while I was there. I planted the bushes, the mums, and installed a vibrator that's supposed to keep the groundhogs away. I have to say, it looks pretty good, if I do say so myself. There are still new gopher holes periodically, but I'm told it takes a few weeks for the measures I've taken to reap their gopher-less rewards. We'll see.

Fresh off my success in the front yard, I decided to re-domesticate the backyard. So last weekend, MIL came up to lend her greenthumbitude and general gardening wisdom. We surveyed the area and she showed me what I should be doing. Holy. Freakin'. Cow. It's going to take MONTHS. Especially since the greenwaste only comes every two weeks. Ugh. But I'm committed. She & I spent about an hour pulling weeds in the lawn (she also trimmed some of the branches from the out-of-control rosemary bush and the Blackberry Monster (a blackberry bush on the other side that is so neglected and overgrown that I'm pretty sure when we finally get inside we're going to find Jimmy Hoffa). Here's what it looks like now, after the hard work. There's clearly a Long Way to go. But I'm committed. Or at least I should be.