Wednesday, November 28, 2007

No jury duty for you--one year!

So apparently my civic duty amounts to one phone call and a recorded message excusing me from further duty for the next twelve months. And lo, I remain only Ruler of the Universal Remote. But at least I rule 50% of it. Oh, who are we kidding--I rule 85% of it (it's ok, G never reads my blog).

Now that I've got jurisprudence out of my system, I can focus my attention onto something else very near and dear to my heart--delivery pizza. Monday night, a Pizza Hut delivery driver was gunned down in Richmond while on the phone getting directions from the customer. So very, very wrong. Normally, I would rail against Pizza Hut and the greasy/bready/generally gross disc they peddle, but in this we stand united:

HANDS OFF THE FU$%ING PIZZA GUY!

Delivery pizza stands for everything that makes America great and it should be considered an act of terrorism to interfere with our right to hot cheese at our doorstep! Accordingly, the pizza guy should be cherished, lauded, and tipped generously. I hope when they find the shooter they ship him off to Guantanamo for a date with Jack Bauer. Tell me where the pepperoni is!

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