Better Living Through Chemistry

As most of you know, I have chronic problems involving my right shoulder, a pinched nerve, and pain pain ohmigawd the pain! It got so bad a couple of days ago that I broke down and took an illicit muscle relaxer. Worked like a charm, although I had to go to bed at 7:00pm because I couldn't keep my eyes open (remember that scene in Sixteen Candles?). It worked so well, in fact, that Naproxin is now my new favorite drug, bypassing 800mg doses of Ibuprofen (honorable mention, of course, to Demerol). And that's saying something because I'm still fairly convinced that 800mg doses of Ibuprofen could cure cancer. And AIDS. And athlete's foot. Unfortunately, I can't be that sleepy at work and I'm therefore forced to resort to my beloved Ibuprofen. Which would be fine if only I had cancer and not the sensation of someone shoving a red hot poker up my shoulder blade and down to my elbow.